By David Sobel and Robert Ornstein
Traumas
usually follow from loss, and any loss can disrupt our sense of self,
identity and permanence. We easily recognize some losses, like that of
a loved one, of health, of possessions or of affection. Some losses are
more subtle, such as loss of an ideal, or one's sense of purpose, hopes
or plans.
Several studies of
traumatic losses have found a relationship between traumatic events and
health risk, including a decrease in immune function. Physical and
emotional symptoms may also be present, including heart palpitations,
chest pain, headaches, dizziness, loss of appetite, nausea, muscular
pain, insomnia, inability to concentrate, irritability and fear of
intimacy.
Some severe traumatic
experiences require professional assistance. What follows is some bits
of self-help advice that may be of benefit either alone or in
conjunction with expert support.
Feel Your Feelings.
Allow yourself to grieve. On the other hand, don't feel bad if you
don't feel bad. Those around you are likely to send subtle messages
about how you "should" feel. The most important thing is to allow
yourself to feel whatever you feel.
Expect Ups and Downs.
Many reactions to trauma are normal and natural healing responses,
they're not signs of failure, weakness or "going crazy." For example,
nightmares and flashbacks may have a value. They can be a signal you
are working through the events, or they may be a sign you are searching
for some new meanings. Even distress can help you mobilize ways of
coping and healing.
Don't Do It Alone.
A traumatic experience can disrupt your ties with others, leaving you
feeling isolated. Seek out people who have gone through similar events.
There are self-help groups for nearly every major trauma. If the
thought of participating in a support group is not appealing to you, a
one-on-one relationship with a friend or counselor is a good
alternative.
Talk About It.
There is mounting evidence it's healthy to confess and confide. One
survey showed adults who experienced trauma as children and never
talked about it were more likely to develop cancer, hypertension,
ulcers and serious cases of the flu than those who talked about their
experiences with others.
Writing Really Helps.
Confiding our feelings in others or writing them down puts them into
words and helps us sort them out. Words help us understand and absorb
the traumatic event in order to eventually put it behind us. It gives
us a sense of release and control.
Look For The Positive.
Many victims of trauma find they reorder their life's priorities and
appreciate life more. Some even work to change the conditions that led
to their misfortune. Try to consider the trauma from a larger
perspective. Finally, give yourself some credit for coping with all
you've been through.
Originally published in Massage & Bodywork magazine, October/November 2001. Copyright 2003. Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals. All rights reserved.
